Subways = Relationships

As I was waiting for the subway today, I got insanely frustrated. I was waiting for uptown train, and within a half hour the count was: uptown trains: 0 downtown trains: 3. For those have never experienced the disappointment of waiting for the train, thinking its the one you need, only to find out its on the other side of the track and the wrong one.........well I'm sorry.

Sorry you ask? Why would I be sorry that you have never experienced the long wait, and the trickery of the subway system? Because it means you haven't also experienced the complete joy when you finally feel the powerful breeze of the train coming down the tracks, and you haven't been able to see the light at the front of the train coming out of the darkness of the tunnel. And so while I was waiting today for the subway I realized in some sense that the subways are a lot like relationships.

Reason 1: Don't take the first subway that comes along because if you get on the wrong one, you won't get to your destination.

Today I watched 3 trains pass. I could have gotten on any of them, but they would have taken me downtown, taking me in a backwards direction from where I needed to go. Sometimes we want to take the first person that comes along, or the second or third, when we know that they're not right, or that they will only take us in a reverse direction from where we need to be with God. Sometimes we know that the train isn't the right one, especially when God places blatant signs in front of us, but somehow we think that if we take that chance that we'll get there faster. We let our impatience get them best of us, maybe because society, parents, friends, or ourselves make us forget that patience really is a virtue.

Reason 2: Read the signs or you will get lost.

When in a relationship with someone or thinking about it, make sure that you read the signs. Friends and family are usually a good indicator of what a person is really like. If your friends/family tell you that he/she is wrong for you, you should listen because sometimes we get blinded by the emotions and then misread the signs and end up at the wrong subway line. While it is true that maybe friends/family may be biased, if they don't like the person, how are you ever going to be able to be content in being with them when no one really likes them?

Reason 3: Waiting for the right subway ensures that you will get to the right destination, and is more exciting because you've been waiting for so long, that your joy is greater when the subway comes.

The right relationship is definitely worth the wait (no matter what society tells you). Think about it, when you're kind of hungry, a meal isn't necessarily that satisfying, compared to when you've been waiting the entire day to eat. In the same way, when you're waiting for the subway and you finally see the light, you become so happy because finally the moment has come. When we wait for the right types of relationships that are God-given, they are that much more rewarding and blessed, and we are more content then we would have been if we had been impatient.

Reason 4: God's timing is different for everyone, and sometimes you catch the earlier subway, and sometimes you just miss it by a minute.

For some people God might allow them to get into a relationship earlier in their life. Sometimes we miss the subway and wish we could have been on that one, but God chooses for us to take the next train instead. It doesn't mean its a bad thing that one person got on the first subway and the other got on the second because eventually they get to the same place, its just that the timing is different.

Reason 5: They are both uncomfortable and awkward.

If you have never been on a subway standing 2 inches away from the chest of one lady, while feeling the breath of an old man on the back of your neck, while getting hit on the leg by the little kid sitting on the seat by you, while smelling the armpit of a hairy man on your left, well then you definitely have something you need to do in your life.  Relationships are awkward and uncomfortable and not meant to be easy. But sometimes we just need to endure the awkwardness because it allows us to reach to point when we can finally escape the crowded subway and get fresh air (although sometimes the air outside turns out to be just as gross as the air inside).

Reason 6: Sometimes in order to get to where we need to, we have to take a few different trains.

For some people they may just need to get on one train and they reach their destination. Maybe their path is simply taking the 6 train uptown to Grand Central and thats it. For others it takes a couple switches before they make it. Their path takes them uptown from Canal to Union Square, which they then switch to the L train which takes them to 8th Ave before they then get on the blue line which takes them further uptown to Port Authority from which they then get on a bus to take them out of New York and to who knows where. Getting on different trains is like how sometimes God puts us in a relationships to take us to a place where we either learn something or must get into a different one. The train that took us from Canal to Union Square was just a part of the entire trip, and in the same way sometimes God puts us in these relationships because they are a transition step that he uses to mold us to be more like him. Without getting on these different trains we can't make it to our destination, and so sometimes we just have to follow the extensive path. Also sometimes we realize that instead of making all those switches, we could have walked further down Canal Street, gotten on the blue line there, which would have gotten us to Port Authority without making the other switches. But its all a learning experience, isn't it?

Reason 7: Relationships and subways are both good things, when used appropriately.

God created relationships because he knew we would need them, just like how the creators of the subways knew it would make traveling easier. Sometimes we get frustrated by them, sometimes we think it would have been better if we had just walked to our destination, or rather walked away from it all, but at its very core, they were both created for good. If it wasn't created for good, then it would be easy to stop using it, to stop being in them. But God created it for his glory and to bless us, and while it's not always that easy to see why, its about having the faith that you can and will reach your destination eventually. It's also about knowing when its worth it or not. Why take the subway for a couple of blocks (taking you 20 minutes with the wait) when you could walk there in less then 15 minutes? Not only does it take longer, but you also waste $2.00 on the trip.

Reason 8: Simply put: Crazy things happen in relationships and on subways.

Don't think I have to explain this last one.

Ok so maybe I took the metaphor a little too far, but I think there's definitely truth in it. And sometimes we get on the train expecting it to be local and its the express train. Sometimes parts of the subway are under construction and so we find that our lives unexpectedly take a turn we never expected. It is then that God can surprise us either by presenting us with the opportunity for a new relationship, or by giving us a feeling of contentment in being single. Though we think we have control, sometimes our lack of control lets God lead us in the right direction, and we may be surprised that we end up getting to Port Authority by taking the N train to 42nd and walking over a couple blocks.

Thanks God for using even a rainy, stormy day and a long wait at the subway to teach me something new.